Just A Reminder To Floss After You Brush Or Sometimes The Worst Shit Happens When You Have A Toothbrush In Your Hands

I just wanted to post this for myself to sort of tell what is happening right now. I keep flashing on my memory of my father’s death and while I remember it right now, I just want to put it down on “paper”. Even though that’s something you do not so easily forget, with my swiss cheese brain, who knows how much I will actually remember at any given time.

My brother-in-law went to the doctor last week after finding large and irregular mole on his back. His doctor removed it and it turned out to be malignant. The doctor was confident he removed all of it, but of course, had my brother-in-law go to a specialist who will do the dye test to see whether any cancer spread to his lymph nodes. The specialist is confident that there is no more than a small amount left in the area where the mole was that he will surgically clean up. This is the first cancer scare in our family since my father passed away in 1975.

My father died on January 21, 1975. He had cancer in his lungs and kidneys. A result of years of smoking and whatever genetic defect that was triggered by the smoking that caused cancer. (I say that because I’ve known smokers that were over 90 and simply passed because of old age. So, although smoking contributes to, it by no means is the only trigger.) If I remember correctly, and I probably and only getting this 80% correct, he was diagnosed when I was 7 or 8. He stopped working and was in and out of the hospital. I don’t remember much, just that he was there when I came home from school and he would cook me these ridiculously delicious hamburgers for lunch. When he went to the hospital for good, it was in 1974, I’m not sure what month. My memory is very spotty to start with and remembering my early years is extremely difficult. I do remember the day he died. I was brushing my teeth, I think it was around 6:30 in the morning and we got a call. I came out of the bathroom and my sister was starting to cry and she said daddy died. I dropped my toothbrush and started crying. We got dressed and took a cab to the hospital. My uncle and his family were there and he came over and basically told me to be strong for my family. I was just over 2 weeks away from my 10th birthday. When I finally got inside his room, they pulled the sheet away from his body just to let us see him one more time. His mouth was slightly opened and he just looked dead. Words really escape me to describe him otherwise.

I worry about my brother-in-law, as we all do in my family. I really hope he is fine, it sounds like he may be, it’s just all the talk and the tests are scaring him and us. Next Tuesday, they go for the test that will allow them to see if it has spread to his lymph nodes. After that, who knows? He is trying to have a positive attitude, as am I. My sister is worried but trying not to show it and my mother is worried, and I think she is flashing back to when my father was diagnosed. Anyway, I guess we’ll see.