Shanny On Video

So I posted the 3 videos I took of Shannon Curfman at the Cutting Room. I'm going to try slapping them on this post, if they don't work, I will also post the Youtube links at the bottom. Enjoy.

This is "If You Change Your Mind" from the first album "Big Guitars, Loud Suspicions"



This is "True Friends", also from "Big Guitars, Loud Suspicions"



And finally, this is "Can't Let You Go" from the new album "Fast Lane Addiction"



Here are the Youtube links if the embeds don't work.

If You Change Your Mind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWBWifL0lto

True Friends
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HzZC2zz4GI

Can't Let You Go
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2dsiyt8nOI

Shannon Curfman Or I Apparently Violated My 50 Foot Restraining Order

Saw Shannon Curfman on Wednesday, September 12. Only the second time I saw her, but there are a lot of reasons, not all mine for that.

Shannon Curfman released her first album at the end of 1999. She was 14 when she was signed to Arista. She wouldn’t call herself a prodigy, but what do you call a 14 year old whose voice is almost as powerful as Ann Wilson and plays guitar like Albert Collins. When she released her first album, “Loud Guitars, Big Suspicions”, people thought that she was a fake, that she was some older blues singer and not this 14-year-old kid. Only, when she got on stage, in her bedazzled shirt, wide-cuff torn jeans and her doc martens with a 2 inch lift, picked up her guitar and preceded to rip chords like a 60 year old black man from Chicago. Then she would sing in this powerful deep voice and finish with a thank you that made you think she just took a whiff of helium. It cracked me up. The first time I saw her, it was August 2000 at the South Street Seaport. It was a free outdoors concert. I had heard about her early in the year, got the CD and was blown away. I’m a good-sized blues fan, and I was impressed by her CD, but I couldn’t believe she was just 14. I figured it was a Milli Vanilli moment. My friend Joe, who liked her for her music and then for all the wrong reasons, read that she was doing the free summer concert at the Seaport. Free, being the right price for us at the time, but also we liked her music. So when we got there, there was actually a nice sized crowd building for her. I was surprised but kinda glad we weren’t going to be the only ones. There were actually quite a number of younger adults there and a small number of disturbing older single men. When you get a young girl that’s fairly attractive, you’re going to attract a certain element. (Unfortunately, even I feel like I’m part of that when I see a young girl nowadays.) While waiting for her, we saw a young girl with a big backpack making her way to the front and then went backstage. She then appeared on stage 15 minutes later in the above mention clothes and preceded to just blow me away. It’s hard to describe how good she is unless you saw her, she shouldn’t have been that good at that age. Hell, Bonnie Raitt wasn’t good until she was 22. When you hear Shannon’s first CD, it really is hard to believe she is playing lead guitar and that she co-wrote most of the original songs on that CD.

So Shannon Curfman was appearing here and there on talk shows. She was part of the mini new blues revival featuring the upstart kids, including Jonny Lang, 16, (Shannon’s friend who helped her get noticed and helped her with her first album, his had just come out a few months earlier), and Kenny Wayne Shepherd, 22, (a brilliant guitarist, but disturbingly, I just found out he was dating and engaged to Shannon in 2000, yes, he was 22 and she was 15. Apparently the legal age in Louisiana, where he’s from or North Dakota, where she’s from, is 15). She was more of a novelty to the non-blues fan, 15-year-old prodigy. So when it came time to make another album, she kinda just disappeared. From what I gathered, it seems like it was a combination of a few things. First, she was engaged to Shepherd, which basically had a 15-year-old girl following a 22-year-old man around. Her name would pop up at blues festival across the country, but usually where he was also. Second, Clive Davis kinda wanted her to try playing something else other than blues, try and broaden her appeal. Shannon really didn’t want that, so one thing led to another and she never made another album until her contract with Arista expired and she created her own label, Purdy Records, and put out an EP in 2006 and then a full album in 2007.

When I remembered to check if she was touring, she would always be at different blues festivals or here and there, but almost always only in the Midwest or South. She lives in Minneapolis now and she kinda stuck to that area. She did come to NY last year, but I found out too late. This year, I found out she was coming here again in support of the new album and was deciding whether to go or not because it was in the middle of the week and I was working. I finally decided to just go, taking the next day off to be sure. She was playing at the Cutting Room, Chris Noth’s bar. (In the bar area, there are copies of classic paintings and the a huge photograph of Chris Noth. Interpret on your own.) I’m so damn happy I did, seeing her again was amazing. How could she not be better, 7 years after I first saw her? She played a mixture of songs from her first CD and the new CD and did a killer cover of “Mississippi Queen”. It was just her on lead guitar, a rhythm guitarist, bass and drums. When I first saw her, she had keyboards but not this time. I was able to take 3 videos of her at the concert, will post the links later as soon asI upload them to Youtube.

I felt she got a raw deal as far as the audience, there were only about 12 people there. It’s a small venue, but it could hold about 50 people or so. Her show was supposed to be a week earlier and it got cancelled at the last moment, so the rescheduling hurt the amount of people that would have shown up. Someone there told me she sold out last year. Just another side note, I ordered her new CD about a week or so earlier and had to shoot an email about whether I could get it signed or not. I mentioned I was going to be at this show. When she finished her show, she was signing at the merch table. She asked if I wanted to buy any of the CDs, I said I just got them and she asked if I was the guy that emailed that I was going to be there, and I said yes. So apparently she’s sending out her stuff in the road so she can personalize it if you buy from her directly. It was really nice of her and she was a total sweetheart.

And finally, yes, I am old enough to be her father, but I love her anyway.

Shannon around 15. She freakin' bedazzled her guitar for God's sake. In 2000, she used about 4 different guitars at the show I saw her at. She still plays all the guitars she had from this time, although at the show Wednesday, she only played one guitar all night.


Shannon now, just as bad ass and constipated looking. I think all blues artists are constipated, they always look like they have to go really bad and can't. Funny aside, someone said John Mayer makes funny faces when he plays guitar, and I said that's because he has fully embraced his blues side finally. It's the law, blues guitarists have to make ridiculous faces during solos.


Shannon and I. She was kind enough to take a picture with me rather than run away from the evil facial hair. Yes, that is alternate universe Chaw as indicated by the evil goatee. But I can be swayed by logic or the chance to take command. (God, I'm such an idiot.)

Just A Reminder To Floss After You Brush Or Sometimes The Worst Shit Happens When You Have A Toothbrush In Your Hands

I just wanted to post this for myself to sort of tell what is happening right now. I keep flashing on my memory of my father’s death and while I remember it right now, I just want to put it down on “paper”. Even though that’s something you do not so easily forget, with my swiss cheese brain, who knows how much I will actually remember at any given time.

My brother-in-law went to the doctor last week after finding large and irregular mole on his back. His doctor removed it and it turned out to be malignant. The doctor was confident he removed all of it, but of course, had my brother-in-law go to a specialist who will do the dye test to see whether any cancer spread to his lymph nodes. The specialist is confident that there is no more than a small amount left in the area where the mole was that he will surgically clean up. This is the first cancer scare in our family since my father passed away in 1975.

My father died on January 21, 1975. He had cancer in his lungs and kidneys. A result of years of smoking and whatever genetic defect that was triggered by the smoking that caused cancer. (I say that because I’ve known smokers that were over 90 and simply passed because of old age. So, although smoking contributes to, it by no means is the only trigger.) If I remember correctly, and I probably and only getting this 80% correct, he was diagnosed when I was 7 or 8. He stopped working and was in and out of the hospital. I don’t remember much, just that he was there when I came home from school and he would cook me these ridiculously delicious hamburgers for lunch. When he went to the hospital for good, it was in 1974, I’m not sure what month. My memory is very spotty to start with and remembering my early years is extremely difficult. I do remember the day he died. I was brushing my teeth, I think it was around 6:30 in the morning and we got a call. I came out of the bathroom and my sister was starting to cry and she said daddy died. I dropped my toothbrush and started crying. We got dressed and took a cab to the hospital. My uncle and his family were there and he came over and basically told me to be strong for my family. I was just over 2 weeks away from my 10th birthday. When I finally got inside his room, they pulled the sheet away from his body just to let us see him one more time. His mouth was slightly opened and he just looked dead. Words really escape me to describe him otherwise.

I worry about my brother-in-law, as we all do in my family. I really hope he is fine, it sounds like he may be, it’s just all the talk and the tests are scaring him and us. Next Tuesday, they go for the test that will allow them to see if it has spread to his lymph nodes. After that, who knows? He is trying to have a positive attitude, as am I. My sister is worried but trying not to show it and my mother is worried, and I think she is flashing back to when my father was diagnosed. Anyway, I guess we’ll see.

Is There Some Real Brain Trauma In Your Past Or I Suck

So I had a few drinks tonight. Not something I do often, but am doing once and awhile now. I figure, “Why not?” I’m pretty good at controlling myself from certain indulgences, so a few drinks won’t hurt. In fact, I’m sober now, which sort of prompted this writing. Drinking has always helped me forget what I didn’t want to remember, problem is, once I sobered up, all sorts of memories come back to me.

I stopped seriously drinking a number of years ago. Before that, I was a real serious drinker. A professional of the highest caliber. Because of my large size and body mass, I could hold a ridiculous amount of alcohol in my body. And I had been drinking since I was 12, so I was working my way to a 12-step program at an early age. When I finally did decide to stop drinking so much, I made the conscious decision to just go cold turkey. It’s really not for most people. It’s very difficult to just give up an addiction without some outside counseling to help you understand that you don’t need whatever it is you’re giving up. That you can replace whatever you were doing with something better. Inevitably, we use because it helps replace something missing in our lives. Counseling helps you find that, so you no longer need to go back to using to replace it. Unfortunately, sometimes your body gets too used to whatever drug you are using so you have to detox, clean your body and have it re-learn what it was missing. Sometimes you can do it on your own, especially if you are used to a solitary type of mentality and existence. I, in no way, consider myself any sort of superior person who can will himself to do anything. Nor do I consider myself so intelligent that I was able to reason myself into stopping all drug and alcohol use. But I have, on occasion, been able to will myself to do things in my life. So, when I decided to stop drinking, I just basically stopped going out to bars, hanging out with my friends in those social situations that called for drinking, (unfortunately, I found out that that was actually all we did, everything led to getting hammered at a bar.) My friends didn’t get that I wanted to stop drinking, I had been doing it far longer than they had and they didn’t understand just how tired I was of feeling that it was the only thing in my life. Ironically, I found out that my friends believed I had my shit together far more than they did, while in truth it was the exact opposite. I was tired of my crappy job, I had nothing going on in my social life except hanging out with them and I was generally tired of living. Drinking was actually the only thing that helped keep me from remembering how shitty my life was.

So what did I do? What I always do, I fucked up the only good thing in my life. I gave up drinking. By doing that, I also gave up a lot of these friends, who it turned, although they liked me, they didn’t quite understand, and ultimately respect me enough to understand what I was doing. They actually went so far as to make up stories as to why I had stopped coming out, including that I had an argument with one of them and was refusing to be in his company. Or that I had started dating someone that I wouldn’t dare bring around them, them being the misanthropic idiots that actually managed to drive women away, even while offering to pay for all drinks and meals. (I once had two female friends see me at a bar, come over to talk to me, and these morons actually were so excited to see someone of the opposite sex, that wasn’t one of the few usual girls who were actually our friends, that they screamed across the bar to ask who they were. Basically causing a gang rape scenario, not unlike Jodie Foster drunk, to cross their minds. They promptly said good night and left. I proceeded to smack each one of these douches in the head.)

So, when I stopped drinking, that social network sort of disappeared. I found myself craving alcohol, physically, once and awhile, but for the most part, was able to just forget how much I loved to drink. Unfortunately, one of the main reasons I drank was no longer held in check, so my depression about my life started to consume me more and more. But that’s not what I’m here to write about (of course in true asshole fashion, it takes me forever to get to my point). What drinking ultimately did was help me forget all my past regrets, so many they can’t be counted, but the one I remembered tonight and is one of the strongest recurring ones is the loss of probably the one girl I may have truly loved.

Her name is Corinne. We met in college. She pledged the fraternity I was pledging at the same time. (I was pledging a fraternity called Alpha Phi Omega, it’s a national co-ed fraternity. I would never pledge a fraternity normally, I found them to be, for the most part, a way for assholes to find each other easier. I only pledged because during summer classes, I started playing serious cards with these guys from this fraternity, and they were all good guys, not your usual bunch of frat idiots, in fact, they were sort of the non frat fraternity. APO is a service fraternity, not social, so they try to do good rather than drink heavily. They still drank heavily, but that wasn’t their primary goal. I wasn’t going to pledge, I was content to just play cards with these guys, but one of the guys that had just pledged was one of my friends from class and I was becoming good friends with all the other guys. So, somehow they managed to talk me into pledging, which I think may have involved alcohol. ) (You forgot that was an aside didn’t you, I really need to stop these.) So when the other people that were pledging were called to a meeting, in she walked. She was being brought in by one of the brothers that somehow talked her in to joining, amazing since he was such an asshole, we called him our “Founding Flame”. She was kinda tall, 5’9, shortish permed auburn hair (hey, it was the 80’s). Glasses, (I love a girl that wears glasses) and a fantastic body. A lot of the things I love in the look of a girl. It would have been nice if her hair was longer, but hey, whatever. But wait, yes, I loved the way she looked, but I wasn’t attracted to her. Why? I had just been dumped by a girl who made me feel like shit. (Apparently that is something else I love in a woman, the ability to fuck me over.) So she was my pledge “brother” and in fact, and this really describes most of my life, because I was the only one that didn’t want to get in her pants, we actually became really good friends. I’ve been told by the women that are my real close friends, they love me because I love them for who they are, that I listen real well and that I’m always there for them. So, since I was the only guy in the school where the male to female ratio was 6 to 1 not trying to date her, we became really good friends. I think I was her best friend at school and I really really enjoyed her company. Ironically, she wasn’t much of a drinker or smoker, and I did that way too much, but she still hung around with me, she just didn’t drink all that much or smoke all that much. She was smart, she tried to be witty and that made her awkwardness about it even more funny, she laughed at all my stupid jokes, stories etc., all the things a good friend does. I listened to her problems, kept the other idiots in the school away from her (something I did with my “little sister” Nancy when she was pledging) and generally was a good friend to her.

I’m not sure when I started falling in love with her. I love women, and generally when you become friends with them, I think part of you falls in love with them a little. I love all my friends, but because every guy thinks about what it would be like to fuck every woman he sees, even just for a fleeting back thought moment, something way back in my brain thought about what it would be like to make love to her. But at the time, she was dating someone. I have a straight moral rule of not messing with someone else’s girlfriend or messing around on a girl I am seeing. I think it was sometime around the national convention in Washington. It was the week between Christmas and New Years and the chapter was going down. Well, not the whole chapter. My smoking friend Steve, was kind of a moocher when it came to pretty much everything, food, weed, etc. He was good guy, just a bit of a moocher. But he loved to smoke and even though he mooched that also, it was the only thing he would also pay straight up for. And he would still share, that was how cool he was about smoking. So for the National, we were all supposed to go down, 4 of us were kinda the heavy smokers, so Steve had a surprise, he had been saving his money and bought about $200 worth of good weed. Enough for 4 guys to keep a nice buzz on for 4 days. 2 guys had to cancel at the last minute, so for 4 days, Steve and I had to smoke all that weed. I kinda don’t remember a lot of chunks of that time. (That wasn’t even an aside and it was long and rambling. I just like that funny story.)

Anyway, I had to go represent the Chapter in some frat business meeting and rule voting crap, so I couldn’t hang with Corinne a lot. We were staying in the same room though, it was she, another frat brother, Wai, and I. No other girls were in our chapter at the time and she felt most comfortable being with me. Wai was thrown in because no one else wanted the annoying little shit. There was just one giant king sized bed, and we somehow agreed to share it, although I was ready to sleep on the floor, Corinne insisted that I just jump in the middle. Feh. I was high and drunk all the time, so the first night that I somehow made it back to the room after god knows what I was drinking and smoking, I vaguely remember seeing Corinne sleeping on one side of the bed and Wai on the other. There was actually plenty of room in the middle so I said, ok, I dove in and promptly passed out. When I woke up in the morning, I looked over and Wai was on the floor sleeping and Corinne was snuggled up against me. Whoa, I slipped out and hit the shower, went to Steve’s room, smoked a couple of joints with him and wondered to myself if I did anything. I didn’t think I was that high. When I finally went back to the room to grab my notes for more rules meetings, they were both up, Corinne was showering, I asked Wai how he ended up on the floor. He said that sometime during the night, I turned over and basically shoved him on the floor. He was okay with it, he thought it was funny. Meanwhile, Corinne came out of the shower and heard what we were talking about and laughed along with us about how funny it was. I said I would hit the floor tonight, but Wai said he had no problem being on the floor and besides, he would be out drinking and partying tonight also. Corinne said that she didn’t mind sharing the bed with whoever. I said that the first two back in the room got the bed, that should just be the rule. They agreed. The next couple of nights were a little weird. I was out partying, drinking and smoking a lot. The hash brownies that this girl from another Chapter had boxes of also did not help. At one point, I apparently, and I hardly remember all but the last part, I saw one of my brothers sitting with a girl, sat down with them and proceeded to charm her away from him and take her back to her room. Nothing happened, she was leaving early in the morning and had to pack, I believe we fooled around a bit and then her roommate dragged her away and told her they had to get their stuff together for tomorrow. Anyway, every night I got back to the room, Wai was asleep on the floor and Corinne was in the bed. I woke Wai up once and told him to get in the bed and I think he said Corinne felt more comfortable in the bed with me. Now, that is both a comforting and disheartening statement to any guy. Basically, she felt so close to me, she had no problem sleeping in the same bed with me. On the other hand, she felt I was so harmless to her, she had no problem sleeping in the same bed with me. Anyway, one morning, we woke up and she was snuggled next to me again and my arm was over her. She sat up to stretch and I, for some reason, started rubbing her back. She just kept stretching. Then laid back down with my arm under her. Of course, then Wai woke up. We both sort of pulled ourselves together and got up and packed to go home. One other thing happened on the drive home. Our friends’ car broke down in Newark. It wouldn’t run anymore so we had to take the train home. On the train ride home, she basically slept on me. It was a comfortable feeling for me and apparently for her. When we got back to the city, we all went home.

Over the rest of the holiday, I couldn’t make heads or tails of what was happening. She surprised me and called me once. It was the most awkward conversation we ever had. When school started, I sort of threw myself into school and then heavy drinking during and after. I took to hanging out at the strip bar more and more, I was trying to figure out how I felt about her, and came to the conclusion that, yeah I was in love with her. It wasn’t just because she was pretty, it was because she was the first girl that got me. She didn’t care what kind of an idiot I was, but had absolutely no problem telling me what kind of an idiot I was. She knew when to humor me and when to be more stern. We didn’t like the same things but she never held that against me or tried to change me and I didn’t do the same to her, which I found out she loved also. She let me be excited about stupid things and I let her be excited about stupid things. We just got each other and let each other be whoever we were. So the fact that she was seeing someone else just ate away at me. So I avoided her, because I couldn’t tell her how I felt and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. Summer came and classes ended, I took extra classes at night while working extra hours. I met a real piece of work over the summer, Stacy, a nurse that just got divorced. We started dating and that went on for a bit. She was a mess and I tried to help but I was horribly distracted by Corinne. When I first saw her back from vacation, she had let her hair grow so it was past her shoulder, it was gorgeous. I almost threw up. We started talking and guess what, she broke up with the guy she was seeing. I said all the right things, she was fine, she wasn’t happy with him. Part of me was happy, but I was still seeing the other woman. And she was a real unstable chick that I wanted to break up with but couldn’t see a clean way to do without really screwing her up. As I was figuring that out, Corinne was actually making it pretty clear that she wanted to be with me. I couldn’t do anything about it because of my retarded sense of morality. It cracks me up because I used to have no problem doing some of the most despicable things one man can do to another man in a fight, but I can’t break up a relationship.

There was actually a moment one night when a couple of us went to dinner. It was some big dinner thingy, but before it, I got ridiculously loaded with my drinking buddy, Johnny. I think I did it because I couldn’t stand being near Corinne. I was in no shape to actually eat when it came time to go the restaurant, but Corinne didn’t care, she almost dragged/carried me to the restaurant. I was virtually drooling during the dinner, Johnny and I were idiots during dinner and I remember, through the whole thing, Corinne just laughed it off. She accepted me for the freaking idiot I was. When we left to go home, I somehow convinced Corinne to let me take her home. But as we were leaving the restaurant and passing the school, I realized I had to go to the bathroom badly, so did she. So we went in, I took my whiz and was waiting for her to come out and leaning against the wall, I almost fell asleep. When I opened my eyes, Corinne was standing right in front of me and her face was about three inches away. She was basically leaning into me. I don’t know what happened, maybe she scared me or something. I said let’s go and we took the train and then bus to her house. I never went to her house before, she invited me in. I was exhausted and hesitated at first but then went in. We went to her room and were relaxing on her bed. I was watching her television and turned and saw her watching me. We moved towards each other and I had her chin in my hand and I kissed her. So what did I do next? I got up and left. I had a fucking girlfriend at the time and it was wrong for me to fucking cheat on her. No matter how much this meant to me, how right it fucking felt, I couldn’t stay with Corinne, it would be wrong to that psycho bitch Stacy. I made some excuse, I had to leave and went home.

Corinne and I acted like nothing happened, I tried to leave Stacy, but she started the “I need you, you mean so much to me, I’m going through a rough time right now. Being the sucker that I am, I said it will be okay, I’m here for you, blah, blah, blah. I hated myself for not being able to be with Corinne. Now the funny happens. Thanksgiving comes and I have Thanksgiving with my family. Stacy has Thanksgiving with her ex. What the fuck? Apparently, since I was going to my families, and she felt insecure about going, and her ex also wasn’t going anywhere that day, they had Thanksgiving together. I KNOW. But I see a light there, so I start working the, what the fuck, if you want to be with him again, just say so. She says, no, you help me through so much, I want you. Fuck. Christmas comes, I actually work, don’t ask. She has Christmas with who? Yes, you know who. And she says they want to give it another shot, they were together so long, and they understand each other. I say, she likes the relationship where she gets mentally abused and told what to do. I swear he hit her also, but she would never admit it so I could never justify beating the shit out of the guy. But this is a wonderful moment for me. This means I can freely, conscious free, pursue Corinne. She went away with her girlfriends on some cruise thingy and I would see her when school started again.

School starts, I find her and am about to go for the serious talk. She tell me about the cruise, she met a guy from Long Island, a cop, and hey, they hit it off big time and are seriously dating right now. (I’m never going on a cruise by the way.) The rest of the school term was a banner semester for yours truly. I started drinking even more, my work didn’t suffer though, oddly enough, but I was getting bored with aerospace engineering. And then they announced they were raising next years already ridiculous tuition. I was barely making it with the partial scholarship, student loan, work, and the last of my savings. Oh yeah, they then sent me a letter telling me they were cutting my scholarship in half. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. I quit school at the end of the term. This ends the retarded saga of that part of my life. There are plenty of other stories not involving Corinne, but that is not what this is about. It proved one thing to me above all else. My timing sucks. And that axiom has proven itself over and over in my life. And that’s what I started thinking about when I stopped drinking tonight. I continue to suck.





YOU SUCK